I am just figuring out Google Analytics. The information they provide is remarkable. Bearing in mind, the last webpage I created had a hit counter on it, I am pretty impressed by the breadth of information available to me regarding who visits my page.

For instance:

I can search for the term "university" within my users' data, and it will return the list of networks that have accessed my website from universities.

It's all very Orwellian, I know, but the fact remains, I have a very loyal, yet small, band of highly intellectual followers. Well, not really loyal...at least, not yet. There hasn't been much time to prove loyalty. But I like to think the best of people. And I can only assume they are highly intellectual, I mean, they are logging on through university networks. I suppose there is a chance they are students who are bored in class, but until they prove otherwise, I will just say that this collective, this cabal, is most likely the leading minds in the literary world, and they are vetting me for entrance into their elite group. I wonder what the name of the group is? I bet is has a snappy acronym to it like O.P.U.S. or maybe it just has an ominous sounding name like "Quill and Dagger." Do they fight crime? Is it like The League of Extraordinary Gentlemen but with famous writers instead of their characters? I bet they have the reanimated head of James Joyce but all he does is complain that he can no longer feel the effects of alcohol. He probably spends his days begging someone to shoot a syringe of whiskey directly into his brain.

This will be interesting. I wonder if we get fancy hats? You know, like those ones PhD recipients get that are all poofy and look like something Rembrandt would wear. I bet I get one of those. I love a nice hat. It's one thing if you are wearing a hat out and about (but never indoors and perish the thought of wearing one at the table...shame) but it is something else entirely when you get to wear some goofy piece as a part of a ritual. No matter how absurd looking it is, a hat only gets cooler when it's part of a secret group. It could be a rubber chicken attached to a Carmen Miranda bed of fruit all on top of a pith helmet festooned with packages of instant hot cocoa and it would still be cool as long as you get to wear it in a dark, smoky chamber while hooded figures mumble in Latin.

Of course, now that I'm onto them, I hope they don't get scared away.

If nothing else it's flattering to me that universities on the international level are taking notice of me...even if it is just the homeless guy camped out in the library. Ok fine ONE university, but at least it's Oxford and not like, Cardiff Community College...nothing against Cardiff of course. I just googled "worst city in Wales" and that's what came up. I don't know why I chose Wales. I think it's because Dr. Who makes fun of it.

Regardless of their intent...or even if they are not aware of one another, it's nice to be noticed.

Still...I bet we get hats.